Possible reasons: Why doesn't my child want to go to kindergarten?

If your child doesn't want to go to kindergarten, there can be various reasons. Has your child just started at kindergarten, or have they been happily going for months and the tears have only started flowing recently? This distinction can already provide an initial clue to the cause. If your child has refused to attend kindergarten from the start, then they are probably suffering primarily from the separation from you, the parents.It is torn out of its familiar environmentSettling into kindergarten after two weeks. Many children need several months to get used to their new daily routine. So be patient and above all don't blame your little one if they don't happily jump into the car on the second day.

In general, children initially have a hard time in the daycare, nursery and co. still finding it somewhat difficult to approach unfamiliar children, play together, or integrate into already existing groups. In most cases this resolves itself over time as your child gets used to the new surroundings. It is also important that your child gets along with the caregiver and feels comfortable. If the chemistry simply isn't right, changing groups can be the solution. First take a look to see whether your child simply needs a bit more time to adjust.

Parents also need time

Be honest with yourselves: Are you perhaps suffering from the separation just as much as your child? Are you afraid that your little one will become estranged from you and secretly glad that they don't feel comfortable in kindergarten? Then there's a good chance your child notices that and, out of solidarity or loyalty, goes on strike. Think about how you can make the separation easier for both you and your child. For example, sneak a small surprise into their backpack. Your child will be happy and you can be sure that amid all the playtime they'll think of mom and dad now and then.

Exceptions remain the exception

The desire to give in at the sight of big sad eyes and to grant the child a break now and then is understandable. But unfortunately that helps neither you nor your child. Therefore stay consistent!Constant exceptions show that the child's tactic works. In the worst case it will soon no longer understand why it should go to kindergarten at all. You should therefore only agree to a day off if there is a real reason for it

postponing it for another year and trying again next year. Sometimes it is simply still too early and your child is not yet at the right and trying again next year. Sometimes it is simply too early and your child is not yet at the rightYour child doesn't want to go to kindergarten: What you can doif there is a real reason for it

Ask

: Has your little one actually enjoyed going to kindergarten until now and only recently started staging a protest? Then try a serious conversation – that often works even with the smallest children better than you might think. Snuggle up together on the sofa and gently approach the unpleasant topic. Important: don't pressure your child. Give them a few minutes to answer. If they don't want to talk, perhaps tell them about an unpleasant kindergarten experience you had. This helps build your child's trust that you can empathize with them and understand the problem. When your child tells their story, pay attention to seemingly insignificant details, because sometimes the key point lies in things we can hardly relate to, but which mean the world to such a little one.Play kindergarten

: Take on the role of another kindergartener or get out toys. Sometimes it's easier for children to show in a playful way where the problem is. Or hand your child paper and colored pencils and ask them to draw a typical kindergarten scene. Observe carefully how your child's emotions change while drawing. Often a facial expression already reveals whether there's more behind a drooped flower. Pay attention to the little things here as well.Talk to the educator or caregiver

: If you can't make progress on your own, seek a conversation with the educators. Maybe there are problems between the children. Maybe they have observed something completely different that contributes to solving the problem. It can be immensely helpful to exchange experiences and observations here in order to find a solution. In exceptional situations, such as a death in the family or the birth of a new sibling, a day off is of course acceptable. If no improvement occurs over time, you might consider

Image credits

Child lying crying in the mother's arms © Halfpoint - stock.adobe.com

Girl sitting on the grass in front of the playground © natalialeb - stock.adobe.com

Father holding crying son on his lap © Halfpoint - stock.adobe.com