Why is the mother-child relationship so special?

Physical connection:

When a baby is born, mother and child have already spent ten months in intensive togetherness: that is the foundation for their special bond. Already in the womb the baby learns the voice and personality of its mother, so that a certain familiarity develops even before birth.

Closeness provides security:

From the outset the mother-child relationship is shaped above all by trust: a child who receives attention, love and closeness from its parents develops a basic trust and finds it easier later on to form relationships.

Survival instinct:

Unlike most animals, human babies are completely dependent on a person who cares for them for a relatively long time after birth. In the first days after birth, nature causes a surge of hormones that makes the mother develop strong feelings for her baby. But even after that the mother-child relationship continues to develop and intensify.

Constant togetherness:

In its first months of life a baby spends almost all of the time with its mother, often in close physical contact. During this time mother and child form a unit and get to know each other's personality and peculiarities very closely.

How do I create a healthy mother-child relationship?

In the first years of a child's life the mother-child relationship is above all characterized by unconditional care and love – as a rule the mother responds whenever the child needs something, whether comfort, food or help with a task. This is also right, because in this way your child develops a healthy self-esteem and feels safe and secure. But how can one manage to maintain a good, strong relationship with one's child throughout childhood, adolescence and into adulthood? Besides all the attention and love, there should also be certain boundaries be part of the mother-child relationship.

Both the mother and the child must learn to accept each other's personal space. That is not always easy in everyday life – not least because it is very difficult to take an objective view of the relationship with one's own child. In principle neither self-sacrifice nor demonstrations of power or emotional blackmail are good for the mother-child relationship. Important are – as in any relationship – mutual respect, lots of time spent together, clear communication and, now and then, some time alone.

Tips for a strong mother-child bond

• Talking and listening: Listen to your child when they tell you something, and teach them to listen themselves. Communication is not just an exchange of information; it also creates familiarity and shows interest in the other person.

• Mutual respect: A polite, attentive way of dealing with each other is not only good for the mood in the family; it is also a sign of respect for the other person.

• Setting boundaries: Your child should learn early on that you have your own needs that they must take into account. Conversely, you should respect if your child does not want something, e.g. to play a particular game.

• Be consistent: Stand by what you said and keep your promises. That way your child always knows where they stand with you and will follow your example.

• Letting go: Even if it's difficult – your child must be allowed to have their own experiences and make mistakes. Encourage them to become independent and let them try new things.

• Spending time together: What is taken for granted in the first years becomes increasingly difficult when school age begins. Consciously take some time for each other every day, whether you do something together or just talk.

• Encourage the relationship with the father: The relationship with the father puts the mother-child relationship into perspective and prevents the bond with the mother from taking on an "absolute" character. It is important for your child to get to know different viewpoints or approaches in dealing with both parents.

• Being able to forgive: Being able to forgive a mistake is one of the foundations of a healthy relationship. Regardless of whether you or your child has made a mistake, you should always talk it through to remove negative feelings.

Image credits

Mother holds son in her arms © Name of provider - stock.adobe.com

Mother and daughter take a selfie © Name of provider - stock.adobe.com

Mother holds child up in the air © Olha Tsiplyar - stock.adobe.com