Confident children: What influence do parents have?

Children learn most by imitation. Especially when they are still small, they have no role models other than their parents and adopt their behavior as the only correct behavior. Your child will observe you and take your behaviors as their own. However, you shouldn't worry too much. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. In no family does everything always run smoothly and your child can also learn from your mistakes. Rather be open about it and don't pretend to your child. That's exhausting and won't bring the result you want.

Respect:Respect for oneself – sometimes that's not so easy. In the hustle and bustle you step back and the child's needs take top priority. As confident parents, however, you should also be able to firmly say 'no' sometimes. At the same time, you should respect and take your child's own opinion seriously.

Trust:Parents must trust themselves and their abilities so they can pass this way of life on to their children. You cannot expect your child to do something that you yourself cannot manage. To build self-confidence, your child must also notice that you trust their abilities and have confidence in them. This way they face challenges with more courage.

Love:Children don't always understand that people can be angry with each other and still like one another. Even if you're angry, you should not hold grudges. Your child needs the certainty of your unconditional love in order to learn from mistakes they've made.

'Always' and 'Never' and the influence on children's self-confidence

'You're always so impatient', 'you never tidy your room properly' — phrases that slip out in haste or upset are taken to heart by children. If your child hears often that they don't do something well enough or don't meet their parents' expectations, they will eventually believe it themselves and define themselves by you.

Children thereby lose the motivation to succeed on the next try or to make a little more effort to reach a goal and thus confirm the parents' statement. A self-fulfilling prophecy, so to speak. Of course you also have to scold your child sometimes and point out when they have done something wrong. However, to avoid attacking your child's self-confidence, you should try not to criticize your child's personality, but the behavior at a specific time. This way your child learns what they did wrong while still feeling valued by you.

How do I raise my child to be confident? – Here's how it works

Honest praise:Children have a sensitive perception and immediately sense when their parents are not honest with them. Don't praise your child excessively for the smallest tasks, but when they have really made an effort.

Realistic tasks:If a task is too easy, motivation decreases and your child feels they are not taken seriously by you. Difficult tasks provide the necessary incentive. But if your child is doomed to fail from the start, you should help or simplify the task.

Support:Children need the assurance that their parents are there for them. Convey to your child that you will always help and can support them. But first give them the freedom to try things out on their own. If they need help, they will ask for it.

Allow mistakes:Rarely does something work the first time. Even if your child needs a few attempts to keep the room tidy or to write with neat handwriting, you should encourage them. Explain to them where the mistake lies and let them try again next time.

Practice body language:An upright posture and a firm handshake give your child a secure body awareness. That helps them to appear more confident. Also good mannerscauses many children to feel more confident.