How are gender roles influenced?

Innate or learned

Scientists agree that the differences between the sexes are a complex interplay of genetic predisposition and the influences of our environment. In addition to the clear physical characteristics, there are also specific behavioral differences between boys and girls that they already show in the womb. Other traits are learned — and even here you can only influence them to a limited extent.

Innate: Boys are already physically more active than girls in the womb. Newborn boys pay greater attention to an abstract depiction, while girls show more interest in human faces. Later on, boys are also more risk-taking and more physically oriented, while young girls are usually ahead of same-aged boys in fine motor skills and language development.

Learned: In many kindergartens there is little or no awareness of gender-neutral education: girls are encouraged to do crafts, read aloud, and play in the doll corner, while the boys romp and play with cars. Retailers, for example in toys and children's clothing, also provide strongly gender-typical advice. And last but not least, family and friends reinforce role clichés with remarks like 'That's not for girls' or with the next toy excavator for a birthday.

The expert says: Gender-fair instead of gender-neutral

'The differences between the sexes should and may exist. It's not about making everyone the same, but about equal opportunities,' says educator Melitta Walter, who has worked for many years on gender-fair education and led the department 'Gender-Fair Pedagogy and Violence Prevention' in the Munich school department for ten years. 'Children need opportunities to experience the most diverse expressions of male and female behavior. From this pool of role models they can pick out the elements they find appropriate.'

All the same? Limits of gender-neutral education

Wish and reality klaffen bei der geschlechtsneutralen Erziehung mitunter auseinander: Unconsciously many parents treat sons and daughters differently. Studies have shown that parents speak more to newborn girls than to boys. And even when parents place both a knight's castle and a play shop in the children's room, the gender-typical toys are often more prominent or more easily accessible.

Try out: All children want to try out their gender role — and not infrequently the common clichés are overstretched. Girls want only pink, talk about princesses and get excited about hair accessories, while boys romp, roar, stage fights and vehemently distance themselves from everything associated with girls. Even if it drives you to despair — exaggerated role behavior is part of child development and is important for children to find their place.

Own ideas: Of course, most parents like a strong girl who repairs bikes or plays soccer. Few can warm to a gentle, communicative boy who places a lot of value on his appearance. People's own ideas of a boy or a girl are usually not completely gender-neutral after all.

Advantages and disadvantages of gender-neutral education

Freedom to develop: The advantage of an upbringing without gender clichés is obvious: children can develop more freely and cultivate the traits that match their personality. The feeling of being allowed to find their own path can give many children a self-confidence that shapes their later life.

External influences: A gender-neutral upbringing can work wonderfully at home. By kindergarten at the latest, external influences and thus the confrontation with gender roles become stronger. Many parents now see their efforts of the past three years going down the drain.

Being different: Little boys riding freely on a pink bicycle or girls spending hours laying train tracks are not seen often. Parents are rightly proud when their children freely live out their preferences — but for the children this can also mean having to defend themselves against ridicule or lack of understanding from peers. That is only possible with a lot of self-confidence and support from the family.

Lack of understanding: Especially grandparents and acquaintances often do not understand why boys and girls should suddenly no longer be boys or girls, as it always was. Anyone who wants to raise their child gender-neutrally must be prepared for discussions with their social circle.

Image credits

Mother holds her toddler who is taking his first steps on the lawn near a modern residential building © prystai - stock.adobe.com

Mother and son play with a dollhouse © LoloStock - stock.adobe.com