Why do children enjoy playing with weapons so much?

A stick lying around becomes a rifle, stuffed animals suddenly spit fire or shoot lightning, and everything else in the toy store becomes uninteresting next to the cowboy pistols with blank cartridges: Parents find their children's fascination with playing with sabers, knives and guns unsettling. After all, they did their best to raise their child without violence.

A role-play like any other:

For children, playing with weapons is the same as any other game: a role-play in which, detached from reality, they take on other personas and in this way discover their world. In play they address courage, fear, strength and the handling of power.

Reality and real life:

Even when children are completely absorbed in their role, they have the ability to clearly distinguish between play and reality. Just as they know they are not actually a princess or a police officer, they do not fight seriously but as part of their play world. Therefore aggressive behavior in children has a different origin than the use of toy weapons.

Do toy weapons make children violent?

Weapons are ubiquitous in children's world and are by no means always negatively connoted: Robin Hood fights with bow and arrow, to help the oppressed. The brave prince rescues the princess by cutting through thorny vines or defeating dragons with his sword. Almost all fairy-tale and legendary figures carry weapons that help them to carry out their adventures. For children, weapons primarily symbolize strength and not injuring other people. In particular, insecure or fearful children are therefore fascinated by weapons.

Pretend violence does not promote real violence

According to child psychologists, it is very unlikely that children's fantasies influence their behavior in reality. If children playing fairies or elves try to fly or enchant things, they do that in their fantasy world, not in the real world. The boundaries between children's imagination and reality are often hard for adults to perceive, but they do exist. It can therefore be assumed that playing with toy weapons has no effect on children's propensity for violence—provided they live in a nonviolent environment. Experts also agree on this point: children are most likely to become violent when they experience real violence in their everyday lives.

Which toy weapons are okay for children?

Blank-firing pistols:

Many parents have a strong aversion to rifles and pistols with blank cartridges. Not so much because of the noise they make, but primarily because of their deceptively realistic appearance. For children who use a stick or a ruler as a rifle themselves, there is no need for a lifelike replica: a simple wooden model or another homemade weapon will do.

Wooden rifles and pistols:

Wooden weapons are usually only a stylized version of real weapons and are therefore clearly recognizable as toys. Children have to use their imagination to fight with these weapons, thereby separating them from reality.

Sword and shield:

Parents can usually come to terms with swords—whether pirate sabers from the toy shop or homemade knight's swords. If you're worried about bumps from playful fighting, you can cut a sword out of sturdy cardboard. Foam variants are also available commercially.

Bow and arrow:

A real bow is a sports device that requires some practice to handle. But a children's bow with blunt wooden arrows also trains strength and motor skills. With this toy weapon it is more likely that children will practice target shooting rather than fight with each other.

Clear rules - important when dealing with toy weapons

Regardless of which toy weapons are allowed in your home, clear rules for handling them should apply. Aiming at people or animals with a crossbow, pistol or "Indian" spear should be taboo. Play fights are only acceptable if no one is afraid or gets hurt. You should also talk to your child about violence and explain that weapons, just like blows or words, can cause serious injuries in real life.

Image credits

Toy Colt with index finger on the trigger © Peter - stock.adobe.com