Soon Starting Nursery: Tips & Ideas for the Transition to Childcare
The nursery place is secured and the settling-in plan is in place. Now it will be exciting for you parents and your little ones alike. Unlike the Settling into kindergarten runs the preparation for starting nursery with babies and toddlers naturally a little differently. In a nursery, children between three months and three years are cared for, most are between eight and 14 months old when settling in. At this age, little ones often show stranger anxiety and approach new environments and people wary and even fearful towards them.
So how do you best prepare your little ones for nursery? The motto here is: practice makes perfect. Let your children already play with other children early, preferably in a group. Suitable for this are parent-and-baby groups, baby gymnastics, trips to playgrounds, or of course meetings with friends and family. Also a babysitter is a good idea so that your kids do not have to deal with unfamiliar people outside the family for the first time when starting nursery.
Short-term separations are also a great exercise for you parents. You probably have spent hardly any time without your children since birth and at first cannot imagine entrusting them to other people. Start with small steps and build up slowly, then the separation distress during nursery settling-in won't be as severe.
During initial trial sessions at the facility, you together with your children have the opportunity to explore the surroundings and even first contacts to connect with other nursery children or parents. There you can ask all your questions and also mention your children's special needs. Don't miss this opportunity – the sooner your little ones get used to others, the easier the transition will be.
Checklist: the right equipment for nursery
Daycare centers and nurseries are well equipped with everything your kids need. Nevertheless, every child needs a number of individual items in daily nursery life that you should get. These include Clothing, baby food and in some facilities also diapers, wet wipes, etc. So you don't forget anything and have everything you need together at the start of nursery settling-in, it's best to stick to the practical HABA checklist. Even if you don't need everything on the first day of settling-in, good preparation relieves you of the pressure and stress of having to make urgent purchases.
Basic equipment:
Backpack or bag
Rubber boots
Hat, scarf & gloves
Sun hat & sunscreen
Change of clothes (pants, tops, socks, underwear)
Cloth bag for dirty laundry
Name labels
Slippers (for crawling or walking)
Bedding (optional)
Sleepwear & sleeping bag
Toothbrush & toothpaste (optional)
Diapers, diaper cream & wet wipes (optional)
Baby food (optional)
For comfort:
Sleep aid
Favorite toy
Comfort pillow
Must-haves for the nursery
Colorful name stickers on clothing and accessories are a practical help in daily nursery life. Goodbye to mix-ups!
General procedure for nursery settling-in
How exactly a nursery settling-in proceeds mainly depends on your facility and your children: every nursery and every child is different. So the settling-in depends at least in part on the pedagogical orientation of the nursery.
Most follow the very widespread Berlin Model or the Munich settling-in model based on it. You will find out which concept the nursery of your choice follows in one of the pre-meetings. There, all details about the settling-in period and care will be explained to you.
The settling-in models are divided into several phases. At the beginning, at least one parent is directly involved and spends several hours with the child in the nursery. Then mother or father remain, as part of an initial separation, outside the child's sight and hearing. It takes several attempts until your children have become accustomed to the new environment and others. Toward the end of the settling-in period, your brave little ones increasingly trust the caregivers and you as parents can spend more time outside the nursery.
Other facilities approach the settling-in less conceptually and let parents and children decide how long they need for the adjustment. The process therefore is also also dependent on how well your kids cope with the new situation. Some children are very curious and sociable, others more reserved and initially overwhelmed by the group. Sooner or later, however, every child finds their place and gets used to daily life at the nursery.
Independent of the personality of your little treasures, age often also plays a role in the process. With babies between three and six months the nursery settling-in is often surprisingly easy. They are not yet stranger-aware and their bond to their parents is mainly based on basic needs such as feeding. If babies are already a few months older, that changes and they start to become anxious – then it takes a lot of patience and care for the settling-in and ultimately more time in the individual phases.
How long does the settling-in at daycare take?
The settling-in period at daycare depends on how quickly your children adapt to the new circumstances. While some babies and toddlers have no difficulty forming an attachment to a new caregiver, others find it harder and need more time.
Depending on the age and developmental stage of your little ones, the facility usually sets a period of two to six weeks set. It's best to keep this time free and not plan many other activities or changes. This way you avoid overwhelming your children with stimuli and don't stress them more than necessary. It's also advisable not to schedule the settling-in period directly before your return to work. The new situation demands a lot from you, so try to make it as relaxed as possible.
The settling-in is considered successful and completed, once your children accept their caregivers as their (temporary) attachment figures and a trusting bond with them. For example, they let themselves be comforted, put to sleep, or fed by them.
Problems during settling-in: Tips for dealing with tears
It's perfectly normal for tears to fall now and then during the settling-in at daycare. Most children can be easily calmed and distracted. Soon the farewell to the parents is forgotten and the time until the reunion flies by. But what if they can't be soothed and the same routine happens at every separation attempt?
In the daycare age, in most cases the phenomenon behind this is stranger anxiety. Between the fourth and eighth month of life, sometimes later, many children begin to respond to unfamiliar people with dislike, fear, and strong distrust – even if this wasn't typical behavior before. This is because the little ones are advanced enough in their development to visually distinguish familiar people from strangers.
If the start at daycare falls into this phase, the settling-in becomes a real challenge that demands a lot of patience from parents and children. It can help if the trial sessions are significantly longer than usual and the separations are introduced in very small steps are introduced. The good news: children quickly outgrow stranger anxiety and from one week to the next the world already looks much better. If you have the opportunity to be a bit more flexible timewise, it's worth taking a break and continuing the settling-in at a later time.
Sometimes the cause of settling-in problems lies elsewhere. Shy children often find it difficult to get used to the many people around them and the overload of stimuli leads to tantrums and anxiety. After all, they not only have their caregiver as an unfamiliar person nearby, but also other children and sometimes other parents.
High sensitivity can also be a reason for a difficult daycare settling-in. It's best to regularly seek discussion with the professionals in your daycare center. The years of experience of the caregivers helps you to better assess the situation. They will tell you what the next steps will be and what you as parents can do to best support your children.
Finally: Have confidence in yourselves and your children and give them enough time to process the changes. Pay attention to your personal attitude and mood. Because: if you feel insecure and frightened, it rubs off on your little ones.
When should a daycare settling-in be discontinued?
This question cannot be answered in general, as it differs from child to child. Often, in addition to the child's behavior, external circumstances also play a role. Before you decide not only to pause the settling-in but to stop it completely, it is important to hold detailed consultation with the caregivers to be held. If they agree, perhaps an alternative childcare may be an option for you. For example, many children who do not feel comfortable in a daycare are much happier in the personal care of a childminder or an au pair. As mother and father, you ultimately know what is best for your child – feel free to trust your gut.
Stopping the daycare settling-in does not mean that you can never make use of a daycare center's offer again. In most cases children outgrow their fears and at a later time they can imagine nothing nicer than romping around in a large playgroup with many other children.
