Why is the mother-child relationship so special?

Physical connection:

When a baby is born, mother and child have already spent ten months in intense togetherness: this is the basis for their special bond. Even in the womb the baby gets to know the mother's voice and personality, so a certain familiarity develops even before birth.

Closeness gives security:

From the very beginning the mother-child relationship is shaped above all by trust: a child who receives care, love and closeness from their parents develops a basic trust and will find it easier later on to build relationships.

Survival instinct:

Unlike most animals, human babies are completely dependent on a caregiver for a relatively long time after birth. In the first days after birth, nature causes a surge of hormones that makes the mother develop strong feelings for her baby. But even after that, the mother-child relationship continues to develop and deepen.

Constant togetherness:

In its first months of life, a baby spends almost all of its time with its mother, often in close physical contact. During this time mother and child form a unit and get to know each other's personality and idiosyncrasies very well.

How do I foster a healthy mother-child relationship?

In a child's first years of life, the mother-child relationship is above all characterized by unconditional care and love – in general, the mother responds whenever the child needs something, whether comfort, food, or help with a task. That is also right, because in this way your child develops a healthy self-esteem and feels safe and secure. But how do you manage to maintain a good, strong relationship with your child throughout childhood, adolescence and into adulthood? In addition to all care and love, certain boundaries be part of the mother-child relationship.

Both the mother and the child must learn to accept each other's personal space. This is not always easy in everyday life – not least because it is very difficult to take an objective view of the relationship with one's own child. In principle, neither self-abandonment nor demonstrations of power or emotional blackmail do the mother-child relationship any good. Important are – as in any relationship – mutual respect, a lot of time spent together, clear communication and now and then some time alone.

Tips for a strong mother-child bond

• Talking and listening: Listen to your child when they tell you something, and teach them to listen themselves. Communication is not just an exchange of information; it also creates familiarity and shows interest in the other person.

• Mutual respect: A polite, attentive way of treating each other not only benefits the atmosphere in the family, it is also a sign of respect for the other person.

• Setting boundaries: Your child should learn early that you have your own needs that they must take into account. Conversely, you should respect it when your child does not want something, e.g. to play a certain game.

• Be consistent: Stick to what you said and keep your promises. That way your child always knows where they stand with you and will take it as an example.

• Letting go: Even though it is hard – your child must be allowed to have their own experiences and make mistakes. Encourage them to become independent and let them try new things.

• Spend time together: What is taken for granted in the first years becomes increasingly difficult once school age arrives. Consciously take some time for each other every day, whether you do something together or just talk.

• Foster the relationship with the father: The relationship with the father puts the mother-child relationship into perspective and prevents the bond with the mother from becoming 'absolute'. It is important for your child to get to know different views or approaches in dealing with both parents.

• Being able to forgive: Being able to forgive a mistake is one of the foundations for a healthy relationship. Whether you or your child has made a mistake, you should always talk it through to dispel negative feelings.

Image credits

Mother holds son in her arms © Name of provider - stock.adobe.com

Mother and daughter take a selfie © Name of provider - stock.adobe.com

Mother lifts child into the air © Olha Tsiplyar - stock.adobe.com