You're going to have a little brother!

Big brother or big sister: When should I tell my child about the pregnancy?

The right time to tell your child that they are going to have a little brother or sister depends greatly on the child's age. Children, however, are very sensitive to changes in their environment and will soon notice that something is different. Use a calm moment when everyone is together to tell your child that they will soon be a big brother or big sister. Picture books or stories that explain the new situation to children in an age-appropriate way can help you with this.

Under three years: Toddlers don't yet have a well-developed sense of time. A birth that is six or seven months away is hard to explain. Here you might prefer to wait with the news until your baby in the belly moves and kicks more. If your toddler can feel that something is growing in mom's belly, the new situation will be less abstract. You should also instruct family and friends that you want to be the first to tell your child that they will soon be a big sibling.

From about three years: Your child will quickly notice that your belly is growing and things are changing. Therefore, let them in on the pregnancy as early as possible. That way your child won't feel like you are hiding something and can prepare for their new sibling role. They will probably also have many questions and be curious about how the baby is developing.

Tips for preparing for a little brother or sister

Practice rituals: After the birth of the sibling, a lot will change. Probably the father or grandparents will spend more time with the firstborn, take them to kindergarten, or read the bedtime story so that the mother can care for the newborn. It's best to introduce these changes before the birth so your child isn't too surprised and doesn't associate the changes with the baby.
No false promises: Don't tell your child that they'll be getting a new playmate they can run around and play with. The disappointment will be great if the baby can't play along during the first months.
Look at photos: The idea of what a new baby looks like is often inaccurate for many children — and adults. Show your child photos of what they looked like as a newborn and talk with them about that time. Meetings with other babies can also prepare your child for the sibling.
Talk together: Give your child the attention they now need to talk about their feelings. They should be allowed to openly admit that they feel uncertain or perhaps even angry about having to share Mom and Dad soon. Try not to steer your child's feelings or assume how excited they are about the baby.
Include them: Older children can already be included in planning for the baby. If your child is allowed to help decide where the changing table and bed will go or which old toys they could give to the new baby, they will feel taken seriously and can already practice the pride of being an older sibling.
Practice: If your child is old enough, you can give them a doll with the appropriate accessories. That way they will also have their own baby to change and feed. In some cities, midwives and maternity clinics also offer short preparation courses for expecting siblings.
Not too much: If other changes are due around the birth, you should try to carry them out beforehand or postpone them. Too many changes at once overwhelm your child, so kindergarten, moving house, or weaning off the pacifier should be well planned.

When it gets 'difficult': How should I respond to my child?

Kinder auf Geschwister vorbereiten | Mutter hält Mädchen und Geschwister sucht Nähe

Despite preparation and openness, your child will probably still be unsettled and react to your pregnancy at least sometimes with rather trying or difficult behavior. Try not to scold your child or punish them for that behavior. This can be a particular challenge during pregnancy when you feel nauseous or have back pain. Nevertheless, you should try to respond to your child when they demand more attention than usual or are grumpier more often. That way your child notices that they are still loved unconditionally and that you take their feelings seriously even with a new baby.