How do I find out if I'm making mistakes in parenting?\r

Awareness of mistakes:\r\nParenting comes from the gut — but it's also a matter of your own insights and experiences. If you're unsure, it can help to look back at your own upbringing: What shaped you, what did you like and what didn't? These insights often help prevent parenting mistakes.\r

Never stop learning:\r\nApparent parenting mistakes sometimes only become noticeable when there are already problems with your child. It's still not too late to learn from your mistakes. What's important is that you can admit — to yourselves and to your child — that your behavior was not right.\r

Self-confidence:\r\nAdvice comes from all sides about what children need and how best to support them. Trust in your competence as parents and raise your child in the way that feels right for you and your family. An authentic approach to parenting questions is a solid foundation.\r

The biggest parenting mistakes and how you can avoid them

Parenting mistakes \r

Most parents will agree that there can be no universal parenting standards: every family works differently and every child is unique in their personality and needs. So there are no clear rules for what is good and right in child-rearing — but there are a few things that parents should generally avoid.\r

Please don't …\r

Better like this:\r

• Withholding love:\r\nLove should never be conditional. Threatening a child with "... then I won't love you anymore" or deliberately excluding them as punishment hurts their feelings and deeply undermines trust in the parents.\r

• Showing feelings:\r\nLet your child know that you are angry or sad or that their behavior is driving you crazy — but never question your love and don't hold their behavior against them. You are the adults: when in doubt, you should take the initiative, approach your child, and resolve the conflict.\r

• Lack of recognition:\r\nA hand-drawn picture, help with cooking or tidying up — children are constantly trying things out and want to be praised for their successes. Parents who ignore these efforts or take them for granted damage their children's self-confidence and inhibit their initiative in the long term.\r

• Sincere recognition:\r\nRecognition is a basic need of children, but they quickly notice when praise is exaggerated or not sincere. Trust your child with responsibilities and let them have their own experiences — only then can they develop their skills and a healthy self-confidence.\r

• Lack of guidance:\r\nIf rules only apply in certain situations or can be bent with enough shouting, it not only burdens family life, it especially unsettles the children: they don't really know where they stand and try even harder to test the limits.\r

• Be consistent — in every respect:\r\nEven if it means the occasional struggle, you should apply rules consistently. Conversely, this can mean critically examining your own parenting and considering which rules are truly sensible or family-friendly. Being consistent also means keeping your word to your child, both with promises and with announced consequences.\r

• Unrealistic expectations:\r\nChildren who are under pressure to perform or constantly compared to others quickly lose the joy of learning — and also the sense of who they are and what makes them special.\r

• "You're okay just the way you are":\r\nSupport your child in their personality and give them space, time, and your trust to develop their abilities. It should be okay if they don't share your preference for sports or find learning to read harder than their classmates: try to support your child rather than trying to make them the same as everyone else.\r

• Physical violence:\r\nChildren can literally drive their parents to the brink of rage. Still, you should never vent your anger with violence. Pushing or hitting not only humiliates and frightens children, they will sooner or later adopt the violent behavior themselves.\r

• Appropriate consequences:\r\nNo one is infinitely patient and understanding. If you're about to explode, take a moment to breathe. A "punishment" for misbehavior must be understandable to your child and should above all never call your relationship into question.

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