Preparing for daycare: How to prepare your child for the transition
Even before the first official trial session at daycare takes place, you can prepare your children for the exciting change. Some kids struggle with the idea of being separated from their mothers and fathers for an extended period.
To counteract the separation anxiety in advance, a positive attitude from you, the parents, is particularly important. Avoid phrases that evoke negative feelings, such as "don't be afraid." Instead, convey to your children the enjoyable aspects, such as the prospect of many great toys, new friends, or the daycare's adventurous playground.
Also the adjusting your routine in daily family life is a good preparation for settling in at kindergarten. If your children tend to go to bed later and sleep longer in the morning, the change to an earlier start can be challenging. Instead of great anticipation, a bad mood is more likely. It's best to start a few weeks before the daycare settling-in to practice the practicing getting up early – then not all adjustments will happen at once.
If you also follow these tips, your little ones will be well prepared for daycare:
Getting to know the daycare:
Most kindergartens already offer a taster day here. Here, the children can already take a look at the playrooms, get to know the educators as well as a few of the other kindergarten children. Then not everything is new and unfamiliar on the first day. Maybe you'll even spot a few familiar faces like friends or neighbors – that immediately causes excitement.
Practicing separation:
Children who have not previously gone through a nursery settling-in are often separated from their parents for the first time in kindergarten for a longer period. To allow your little ones to slowly get used to this new situation and the unfamiliar environment, it's best to let them now and then spend some time alone with relatives or friends. This way, a completely new caregiver doesn't suddenly appear out of nowhere – and your children get a sense of a short-term separation.
Sparking curiosity:
Read aloud to your children, that feature kindergarten or show them the playing children on the daycare playground while walking. Also let your kids play with friends, who already attend kindergarten or tell them yourselves about fun activities like crafting, singing or roughhousing – in no time your little curious ones will hardly be able to wait to toddle off to kindergarten themselves.
Getting supplies:
A few new indoor shoes, a water bottle and lunch box with a fun motif and their own little backpack increase the anticipation for the kindergarten visit. Our tip: Attach a small hook in your home specifically for the kindergarten backpack – that way your children have a fixed place for their things, just like Mom and Dad.
Is the settling-in at daycare similar to the settling-in at the nursery?
Kita, Kiga, kindergarten and nursery – there is a settling-in period everywhere and parents quickly lose track. Kita is an abbreviation for "Kindertagesstätte" (daycare center). A distinction is made between facilities that offer care only in the mornings and those that provide full-day care. The term kindergarten or Kita is usually used interchangeably. Here children from around age 3 are admitted, unlike at the nursery (Krippe), which only cares for babies and toddlers.
The settling-in at the nursery therefore proceeds a bit differently. HABA also has suitable tips on this topic on its topic page.
This is the equipment your child needs for settling into daycare
The Equipment for daycare to get brings a big dose of anticipation. Therefore don't wait until the settling-in period has already begun before you start looking for backpack, mud pants and co. Even if you might not need everything on the first day, this way you can focus on your child in a relaxed manner and are not distracted by errands.
It's important that after the daycare settling-in you regularly check that everything is still there and that your children haven't outgrown their clothes. Depending on the size of the kindergarten, caregivers won't have an overview of the exact belongings of all the children – so you parents should pitch in.
So you don't forget anything, HABA has a practical checklist assembled for you. You're sure to already have one or two items at home and can start your preparations right away.
Basic equipment:
Backpack or bag
Indoor shoes
Rubber boots
Hat, scarf & gloves
Sun hat & sunscreen
Change of clothes: trousers, tops, socks, underwear
Cloth bag for dirty laundry
Name labels
Gym bag
Sports clothes (optional)
Additional equipment for full-day care:
Bedding
Sleepwear
Toothbrush & toothpaste
Diapers, diaper cream & wet wipes (optional)
To comfort:
Emergency-pacifier
Favorite toy
Comfort pillow
How the settling-in process at daycare works
Have you decided on the decided on the right kindergarten and a daycare place found, the official settling-in phase begins soon. What it looks like in detail depends, of course, on your daycare center.Berlin settling-in model or also on the subsequent Munich model. In doing so, a parent or another caregiver is involved in the adjustment to the new situation, so that a gentle transition to separation is possible – for parents and child.
The settling-in period is divided into several phases. At the start, on different days you each spend one to two hours together with your little ones at the kindergarten. Usually only the mother or the father will attend these sessions, not both parents. It's best for you to take a passive role and give your little explorers free rein. Initial attempts at contact arise between the childcare professional at the daycare and your kids. Now and then the gaze drifts to the parents; shy children also like to sit on mom's or dad's lap.
A few days after the initial getting-to-know, a first separation attempt takes place. You say goodbye to your children, but remain in the facility – however out of earshot and sight. Sometimes your little ones cry briefly, but ideally they can be distracted by the caregivers or other children at kindergarten. If not, you are brought in again immediately and you try again on another day.
If your kids master this phase, you start to spend the separation time outside the facility to spend. However, you remain nearby so you can return at short notice. A female caregiver or a educator now takes on the duties of the primary contact person and looks after your little treasures. Depending on how the children react, you adjust the duration of the separation.
Soon your children will have adapted to the new situation. Toward the end of the settling-in period they spend several hours at a stretch without you at the daycare. During this time you can pursue other activities, provided you remain on call. If everything goes without major difficulties, nothing stands in the way of a regular daily routine at kindergarten!
The need for attachment, care and security, as well as trusting relationships between the educators, your children and you parents is always paramount during the settling-in period and afterwards. Once your kids feel comfortable in kindergarten and recognize the professionals there as attachment figures, the settling-in period is complete.
The Berlin model
You have probably come across the term 'Berlin settling-in model' more than once during your search for a daycare place. Usually you learn before registering at the kindergarten whether the facility follows the Berlin model or not.
If you'd like to learn more, HABA is the right place. We have compiled more information about the Berlin model for you so that you are well prepared for the settling-in period.
Relaxed settling-in: Tips for a smooth daycare start
Settling into kindergarten means for many families a major adjustment. This is especially the case if your little ones have not yet been in another form of childcare, such as a crèche or with a childminder. In addition to the preparations you can make together with your children, HABA has even more tips and tricks for you parents. Find out here how to master this challenge with ease.
Allow buffer time
Every child reacts differently to a new situation. Plan at least four weeks for the settling-in period — if you want, even a few days more than recommended by your facility. That takes the pressure off you if things don't go as planned and there are perhaps more frequent tears.
Stay calm
Children pick up on their parents' emotions. If you are anxious and worried, it affects their behavior. If your children sense that you don't really want to or are reluctant to let them go to daycare, they will react accordingly—becoming skeptical or even refusing. But if you project confidence, it rubs off on your little ones.
Introduce farewell rituals
Come up with a small ritual for saying goodbye at daycare: a firm hug, a kiss, waving at the door or even a gentle push from your child. That gives the little ones security and signals: Now I can go play in peace and later Mom or Dad will come back and pick me up.
Stagger changes
The adjustment caused by starting daycare usually affects your whole family. If possible, try not to also schedule returning to work or the start of school for older siblings during this time. That confuses your child further and makes settling in more difficult.
Be consistent
The settling-in phase is often accompanied by separation anxiety. If you promise your children you'll pick them up at an agreed time or after a certain ritual, you should stick to it. That's how new kindergarten children learn to rely on you parents and play far more relaxed while you're away.
Have confidence
Have confidence in yourselves and your children and also in the professionals at the daycare center. They are true experts in what they do and have years of experience. They have met countless children and know how to build bonds, support their development and comfort them when needed. Even if it's sometimes hard to believe: your children will soon feel completely at home in daycare and will always be cared for professionally and lovingly.
Problems during settling in: What to do if it still doesn't work out
Despite good preparation, it sometimes happens that settling into daycare causes problems. The worst fears of many parents come true: the child refuses to leave the house or cries in kindergarten and cannot be calmed.
Many parents are therefore stressed and worried or even desperate. The good news: you are not alone with these difficulties and in most cases the problems resolve themselves. Keep close contact with the educators and try together to get to the root cause.
Some children simply need significantly more time for their settling-in period. This can, for example, be because they are shy or their development is not yet as advanced as other children. The most important thing: give your kids the time they need. If things don't go well for several days in a row, a short break is recommended. Often, the following week already looks completely different and your children won't be able to wait to go to daycare.
In kindergarten, many new impressions fall on the little ones. If your child is sensitive to such situations or even highly sensitive, it quickly becomes overwhelmed and stressed. To respond to the children, the educators in kindergarten choose slow games instead of wild rough-and-tumble play in the settling-in period. It is also helpful if the new environment is somewhat limited and not the whole kindergarten is used during the settling-in period. Sit back and relax, because the professionals at the daycare have the necessary experience to respond to each child individually and thus promote the settling-in.
When problems occur during the settling-in period, one thing is above all important: be patient with yourselves and your children. Discuss your concerns openly with the educators in a detailed conversation – you know your child best.
When should the daycare settling-in be stopped?
This question cannot be answered in general. The circumstances are as varied as the children themselves and the situation must be considered individually. Here too, you should talk to everyone involved before deciding to completely stop the daycare settling-in. Also talk to your children and don't leave them out. In many cases, a solution to difficulties can be to pause the settling-in period and start again a few weeks or months later. During that time children mature and later approach things differently. If the problems are very serious and a trauma is imminent, consider whether it might make sense to switch to alternative childcare. Maybe another type of facility, such as a Montessori kindergarten or a Waldorf kindergarten a better option. Also very different concepts such as care by a childminder or a Au Pair can be the solution for you and your children.
The best tips for settling into kindergarten at a glance
Even before the first day at daycare begins, prepare yourselves and your little ones for the exciting time with these tricks:
Explore the kindergarten and its surroundings in an introductory visit.
Awaken curiosity of your children by telling kindergarten stories.
Practice short separations by visiting friends and relatives.
Get the right daycare supplies in advance for your children and thus boost anticipation. With these ideas, nothing will stand in the way of a smooth start to everyday kindergarten life:
Find out about your daycare's settling-in model so that you know exactly how the upcoming weeks will proceed.
Allow sufficient time for the settling-in period, so that you don't put yourselves and your children under pressure.
Schedule the settling-in time so that not too many changes happen at once. This avoids overwhelming your family life.
Stay calm and project a positive attitude and confidence, because your own mood also affects your children.
Be consistent and stick to agreements, this way your kids learn they can rely on you and that you will definitely pick them up.
Introduce loving farewell rituals, which mark the beginning and end of time at kindergarten.
Have confidence – in yourselves, your children and the educators. Your child is in the best possible hands at kindergarten.
Frequently asked questions about settling in at daycare
1. How long does a daycare settling-in period last?
2. What if my child becomes ill during the daycare settling-in period?
3. When is my child ready for the kindergarten settling-in period?
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