"I want my peace and quiet"

Factors to consider when sharing a children's bedroom

Age difference:

A key factor for whether a shared sibling bedroom works and makes sense is the age gap. If this is too large — roughly four years or more — interests are often too far apart for the children to benefit from each other. Daily routines are usually very different as well. If the age gap is very small — for example only one year — this can lead to rivalry between the children. In the long run a shared room often works best with a moderate age difference. Then the children can play together and, if desired, still keep a sufficient distance from one another.

Room size:

A small room that leaves little space for beds and wardrobes is not ideal when siblings are to share a children's bedroom. Best to ensure the room can be arranged with room dividers or similar so that each child has their own area. In any case it should be possible to place two separate beds.

Temperament:

Some children enjoy having their sibling around and sharing a room with them. Others often need time to themselves and can only flourish and develop with sufficient personal space. Take the personalities of your children into account and take it seriously if they resist sharing a room.

How long can siblings share a children's bedroom?

In addition to factors such as age difference, room size and temperament, the children's age plays an important role in whether a shared sibling bedroom is sensible. Depending on their age, children have different needs that you as parents should consider.

• Babies and toddlers:

  During the first six years of life a shared children's bedroom has the advantage that the little ones always have a playmate nearby. They learn to play together, resolve conflicts and show consideration.

• Primary school age:

  Siblings at primary-school age can certainly learn together and help each other, but they also need more personal space and opportunities to withdraw due to the pressure to perform that can arise. Children often develop differently and find different friends and interests.

• Prepuberty:

  Between the ages of 11 and 14 hormones begin to affect children. Irritable behaviour is common in many families and can often lead to arguments. In many cases having separate rooms is the saving solution to maintain family harmony. In some families the children still get on well at this age. The uncertainty that can come with changing to secondary school can sometimes be cushioned by sharing a room.

• Puberty:

  With puberty children enter a phase of self-discovery and a great deal changes psychologically and emotionally. This not only means that adolescents are often easily irritated. Above all they now need the ability to withdraw. Also with regard to the discovery of sexuality, children should by now have their own space. Children should, by this stage at the latest, have their own realm.

How to make a shared sibling bedroom work – tips for arranging the room

Not always do the living conditions allow every child to have their own room. If only one room is available or siblings are to share a room in the early years, you should ensure that the space is arranged so that each child still has an opportunity to withdraw. There are different options for dividing the space:

• If the room is sufficiently large and has windows on several sides, you could consider installing a lightweight partition. However, this would also require an additional door.

• An open shelf used as a room divider provides extra storage for books or toys and at the same time lets light pass through.

• A light or an opaque curtain at the bed separates the sleeping areas from one another and provides privacy. If desired, the children can draw the curtain.

By the way: Using room dividers makes sense not only in shared rooms. Even in a children's room occupied by a single child it can be useful, for example, to separate sleeping and study areas. That gives the room structure and calm.

Image credits

Girl sitting in front of a laptop and another girl sitting on the windowsill © Halfpoint - stock.adobe.com