Do children have to finish their plate?

Eating according to gut feeling – children can do that

Infants & babies

If you breastfed your baby after birth, you know the signals: smacking, sucking the thumb, turning the head and eventually crying mean hunger – your child wants to be breastfed. Eventually your baby turns its head away from the breast – now it is full. Children therefore already know from the very beginning what their body needs and when it is enough.

Toddlers from about 3 years

From about three years your child can also already make quite clear with words, whether it is hungry right now or not. After a few declined offers, whether it shouldn’t maybe be another spoonful of yoghurt or a piece of bread, you can trust that your child is full.

What to do if the child says: „I don't want to“?

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If your child absolutely refuses to eat the pasta or the bread, you should not force them. If hunger comes, your child will make itself known and then the cheese sandwich from before will already be available.

Don't force them to finish – better not

For a long time it was commonly assumed that children should finish their plate, so they would not suffer from hunger. Since it is hard to look into the little person and feel their hunger themselves, parents determined which portion the child should eat.

Of course you still have to estimate how much food your child roughly needs. But if they are full and there is still some on the plate, you should not force them to finish it. Sentences like: „one more bite for Mommy“ or „otherwise it will rain tomorrow“ are not good arguments. In this way your child eventually unlearns to trust its feeling of fullness and may develop a problematic relationship with food.

Don't play with food: Is that still relevant?

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By sticking their fingers into the mashed potatoes, nibbling first one apple and then the other, or opening a yoghurt without really eating it, your child is discovering their environment and their food. They first have to learn that one apple tastes the same or similar to the other. Even if it is against table manners at first, you can give your child the chance to explore their surroundings.

In addition, your child cannot perfectly use a knife and fork from the start and comes up with other, creative ways to get food to their mouth. As long as some of it also makes it there, you can let your child carry on calmly and offer your help. You will also quickly notice when your child is only playing with the food because they don't feel like eating it. If the carrots are just pushed back and forth on the plate, flung across the table or onto the floor, you should explain to them that that's going too far.

Relaxed at the dining table: Our 5 tips

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1. Try smaller portions and seconds

Get used to serving your child a smaller amount at first. This way they can decide after the first plate whether they want more or not. In this way you don't put your child under pressure and you won't have to throw away food later that was played with or has already gone cold. You also lead by example and teach your child a responsible approach to food.

2. Eat together as a family

If the family sits together at the table, the food tastes much better and your child perceives it more consciously. But if the TV or some other distraction is on alongside, the meal is just passively put into the mouth and you automatically eat more subconsciously. Take this valuable time together as a family as often as possible – then meals for your children will also be associated with a positive experience of the day linked.

3. Don't set conditions

Avoid phrases like "...otherwise there will be no TV". This way your child feels coerced and loses the habit of listening to its body's cues. As in other areas of parenting, you know yourself that threats don't achieve much. Listen to your child and observe them closely in situations you don't immediately understand. Because when it comes to eating your perspective is secondary and your conditions are out of place.

4. Don't let yourselves be blackmailed

If your child refuses to take a bite, you should not replace the meal with chocolate or chips. Instead, wait until hunger comes. Your child will remember the situation and will insist on sweets instead of vegetables next time as well.

5. Let your child try

You suspect that your child is hungry but just doesn't feel like spinach right now and would rather have pasta? Offer them to try the spinach at least and eat a small portion. Once you start cooking extra to satisfy the child's whims, it's hard to stop.