Why are children's friendships important?
The connection to peers is fundamentally important for children's development. Unlike when interacting with adults, they can meet their friends on equal terms. They share interests, duties and problems and can talk about them. This way your child learns to form social relationships and – as it grows older – also to maintain them. In interacting with other children your child experiences what it's like to respond to the needs of others and to share. Additionally, it is an important need especially for children to "belong", because being part of a group strengthens self-confidence.
No friends: What could be the reason?
Child's desire: Not all children want to make friends. For some, it is completely sufficient that they meet other children in kindergarten or at school. They often prefer to spend the afternoon by themselves or with their parents and siblings. As long as your child is happy with the situation, you should not force friendships.
Being different: Children can be mean. Clothing style, a big nose or glasses can sometimes already lead to a child being excluded. Disabilities or developmental disorders can also contribute to your child becoming an outsider.
Behavior: Can your child share and approach others or does it always want to be the center of attention? Often your child's behavior has a big influence on whether other children like being friends with them.
Role models: Children copy almost everything from their parents. If you yourselves only maintain the bare minimum of contacts, you signal to your child that you don't place too much value on friendships. This behavior is also passed on to your child.
No friends - What parents can do
When children long for friends but don't have any, it can be very distressing. The feeling of not belonging and not fitting in at daycare or in school to find, makes children believe something is wrong with them. All the more important is that parents support their children in this situation and convey to them the feeling: "You are great and lovable, just the way you are". Loving and encouraging words from mother and father are not only balm for the child's soul. They also help to to strengthen the little ones' shaken self-confidence – an important prerequisite for approaching peers openly.
If things don't work out at daycare or at school at first when looking for friends, you can search for suitable leisure activities together with your child. Because if children share the same passion, a friendship almost develops by itself. Does your daughter enjoy dancing? Then classes with peers are exactly the right thing. Does your son want to try basketball? Then sign him up at the local sports club. Through group activities not only shyness reduced, but also important social skills such as teamwork, conflict-resolution abilities, consideration and a sense of responsibility are learned. If your child's difficulties in interacting with others are due to their rough behavior, group activities can work wonders. Shy children, on the other hand, can in this way boost their self-confidence, which slowly brings them out of their shell.
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Image credits
Young man sits alone leaning against a wall © pololia - stock.adobe.com
Mother and child of color sit on the floor © Yakobchuk Olena - stock.adobe.com
Two boys sit on the ground leaning against a wall © pololia - stock.adobe.com