What is high sensitivity?

To put you at ease, one thing first:

High sensitivity is not a psychological or emotional disorder, and therefore there is no medical diagnosis. Apart from that, this psychological trait is not that rare: current estimates assume that 15–20% of all people are highly sensitive.

Little-known trait:

Only a few years ago did high sensitivity also come into focus among parents and educators in Germany – previously highly sensitive children were often considered daydreamers or simply "overly sensitive".

Highly sensitive person:

The American psychologist Elaine N. Aron first coined the term highly sensitive person (HSP) more than 20 years ago for people who perceive stimuli and information more intensely and process them more thoroughly than other people.

Heritable and lifelong:

High sensitivity is heritable and accompanies people throughout their lives. Many adults are not even aware that they are highly sensitive. They have grown used to their "otherness" and worry when they recognize the highly sensitive traits in their child.

How do I raise my child to be confident? – here's how it works

Sincere praise: Children have a sensitive perception and immediately sense when their parents are not honest with them. Do not praise your child excessively for the smallest tasks, but when they have truly made an effort.

Realistic tasks: If a task is too easy, motivation decreases and your child feels not taken seriously by you. Difficult tasks provide the necessary incentive. But if your child is doomed to fail from the start, you should help or simplify the task.

Provide support: Children need the assurance that their parents are there for them. Show your child that you will help and can support them. But first give them the freedom to try things on their own. If they need help, they will ask for it.

Allow mistakes: Rarely does something work the first time. Even if your child needs a few attempts to keep the room tidy or to write with neat handwriting, you should encourage them. Explain what the mistake is and let them try again next time.

Practice body language: An upright posture and a firm handshake give your child a secure body awareness. That helps them appear more confident. Good manners also make many children feel self-assured.

Tips for dealing with highly sensitive children

You are great just the way you are! Many children are very aware that they feel differently than others. Show your child that they are exactly right as they are, and highlight their positive qualities.

Reduce stimuli:

If you know that your child is sensitive to a variety of stimuli, try to organize everyday life accordingly. Schedule one or two afternoon appointments instead of five and implement changes as gradually as possible.

Provide retreat options:

Highly sensitive children need the opportunity to withdraw in order to process experiences and feelings. Practice with your child how to show when they have had enough, and allow them in such situations to be alone.

Interpret signs correctly:

Tantrums and refusal in highly sensitive children are usually not a provocation, but a signal that they urgently need a break. Try to react with understanding and offer appropriate retreat options.

Don't force anything:

Don't force your child to visit friends or take part in activities if they don't want to. Overload can quickly manifest in aggression or strong physical symptoms in highly sensitive children.

Accept their quirks:

"Don't be so sensitive!" "Why are you thinking about such nonsense?" - even if you don't always understand your child, you should avoid such statements. Accept your child as they are and support them in their uniqueness, which can also be a gift.

Image credits

Woman kisses her son with Down syndrome on the mouth while sitting at home © Yakobchuk Olena - stock.adobe.com

Child, toddler boy, punished in the corner for making mischief © Tomsickova - stock.adobe.com