What is high sensitivity?

To reassure you, one thing up front:

High sensitivity is not a psychological or emotional disorder; accordingly, there is no medical diagnosis. Apart from that, this psychological trait is not so rare: current estimates suggest that 15–20 % of all people are highly sensitive.

Little-known trait:

Only a few years ago did high sensitivity come into focus among parents and educators in Germany – previously, highly sensitive children were often considered dreamers or simply 'overly sensitive'.

Highly sensitive person:

The American psychologist Elaine N. Aron coined the term 'highly sensitive person' (HSP) over 20 years ago for people who perceive stimuli and information more intensely and process them more thoroughly than other people.

Inherited and lifelong:

High sensitivity is inherited and accompanies people throughout their lives. Many adults are not even aware that they are highly sensitive. They have grown accustomed to their 'difference' and worry when they recognize the highly sensitive traits in their child.

How do I raise my child to be confident? – here's how it works

Sincere praise: Children have a sensitive perception and immediately sense when their parents are not honest with them. Do not praise your child excessively for the smallest tasks, but only when they have truly made an effort.

Realistic tasks: If a task is too easy, motivation decreases and your child will feel that you don't take them seriously. Challenging tasks provide the necessary incentive. But if your child is doomed to fail from the start, you should help or simplify the task.

Support them: Children need the assurance that their parents are there for them. Let your child know that you will help and support them. But initially give them the freedom to try things themselves. If they need help, they will ask for it.

Allow mistakes: Rarely does something succeed on the first try. Even if your child needs a few attempts to keep the room tidy or to write with neat handwriting, you should encourage them. Explain what the mistake is and let them try again next time.

Practice body language: An upright posture and a firm handshake give your child a secure physical feeling. This helps them to appear more confident. Good manners also make many children feel self-assured.

Tips for dealing with highly sensitive children

You are great just the way you are! Many children are very aware that they feel differently than those around them. Show your child that they are exactly right as they are, and highlight their positive qualities.

Reduce stimuli:

If you know that your child reacts sensitively to a variety of stimuli, try to organize everyday life accordingly. Schedule one or two afternoon appointments instead of five and implement changes as gradually as possible.

Offer opportunities to retreat:

Highly sensitive children need the opportunity to withdraw to process what they have experienced and felt. Practice with your child how to show when they have had enough, and allow them to be alone in such situations.

Interpret signs correctly:

Tantrums and refusal are usually not a provocation in highly sensitive children, but a signal that they urgently need a timeout. Try to respond with understanding and offer appropriate opportunities to withdraw.

Don't force anything:

Don't force your child to visit friends or take part in activities if they don't want to. Overstimulation can quickly manifest in aggression or strong physical symptoms in highly sensitive children.

Accept quirks:

'Stop being so sensitive!' 'Why do you think about such nonsense?' - even if you don't always understand your child, you should refrain from such statements. Accept your child as they are and support them in their uniqueness, which can also be a gift.

Image credits

Woman kisses her son with Down syndrome on the mouth while sitting at home © Yakobchuk Olena - stock.adobe.com

Child, toddler boy, punished in the corner for making mischief © Tomsickova - stock.adobe.com