Confident children: What influence do parents have?

Children learn most through imitation. Especially when they are still small, they have no other role models than their parents and adopt their behavior as the only correct behavior. Your child will watch you and take on your behaviors as their own. However, you shouldn't worry too much. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. No family runs perfectly all the time and your child can also learn from your mistakes. Better be open about it and don't put on a front for your child. That's tiring and won't produce the result you want.

Respect:Self-respect – sometimes that's not so easy. In the hustle and bustle you step back and the child's concerns have top priority. As confident parents, however, you should also be able to say "no" firmly sometimes. At the same time you should respect and take your child's own opinion seriously.

Trust:Parents must trust themselves and their abilities so they can pass this way of life on to their children. You cannot expect your child to do something you yourself cannot do. To build self-confidence, your child must also notice that you trust their abilities and trust them with tasks. That way they face challenges with more courage.

Love:Children do not always understand that people can be angry with each other and still care about each other. Even if you are upset, you should not hold grudges. Your child needs the assurance of your unconditional love to learn from mistakes made.

'Always' and 'Never' and their influence on children's self-confidence

'You're always so impatient', 'you never tidy your room properly' — phrases that slip out in haste or upset are taken to heart by children. If your child often hears that they do something not well enough or do not meet their parents' expectations, they will eventually believe that fact themselves and define themselves by you.

Children thus lose the motivation to succeed on the next try or to make a bit more effort to reach a goal, thereby confirming their parents' statement. A self-fulfilling prophecy, so to speak. Of course you also have to scold your child sometimes and point out when they have done something wrong. However, to avoid attacking your child's self-confidence, you should try not to criticize your child's personality, but the behavior at a specific moment. This way your child learns what they did wrong while still feeling valued by you.

How do I raise my child to be confident? — Here's how

Sincere praise:Children have a sensitive perception and immediately sense when their parents are not honest with them. Do not praise your child excessively for the smallest tasks, but when they have really made an effort.

Realistic tasks:If a task is too easy, motivation decreases and your child feels not taken seriously by you. Difficult tasks provide the necessary incentive. But if your child is doomed to fail from the start, you should help or simplify the task.

Support them:Children need the assurance that their parents are there for them. Convey to your child that you will always help them and can support them. But initially allow them the freedom to try things themselves. If they need help, they will ask for it.

Allow mistakes:Rarely does something work the first time. Even if your child needs a few attempts to keep their room tidy or to write with neat handwriting, you should encourage them. Explain to them what the mistake is and let them try again next time.

Practice body language:A straight posture and a firm handshake give your child a secure sense of their body. That helps them to appear more confident. Alsogood mannersmakes many children feel more confident.