Self-care – important for all family members

At first it sounds strange when someone says: You must take good care of yourself. Because in families attention quickly turns to everyone else first: Is my child okay? Is my partner satisfied? Does anyone need support? One's own peace of mind quickly slips into the background amid the many everyday concerns. 

In doing so, the one's own needs are most important, in order to be there for others at all times. If a family member constantly pushes their own needs aside to be there for others, that can be dangerous in the long runbecome. In the worst case this can lead to physical or psychological problems. 

Tips for more self-care in everyday life

So that this doesn't happen, we give you valuable tips here on how you can master the sometimes challenging everyday family life positively and powerfully. What can you do to take good care of yourselves and your children's emotional well-being?

Self-care

What helps us as parents

Basically we know that as parents we can be strong for our family above all when we take good care of ourselves. Yet we often feel it is not important enough or even selfish to give ourselves time and care. And yet this is exactly what allows us to recharge, gives us strength and confidence to move forward positively and meet the challenges of everyday life. If we parents are well, our children are well too. But how can we manage to find time for ourselves amid the hustle and bustle of everyday life?

Grant the right to breaks

Not only children need pauses and times to calm down. Parents need boundaries too. Only when we keep a clear head can we take good care of our children. For this it is necessary to sometimes say stop and set fixed times and places for breaks that then apply to everyone.

Support each other

Right now it is extremely important for parents to coordinate well, divide tasks clearly and lighten each other's load as partners. For single parents this is not always feasible and the current situation is correspondingly more difficult to cope with. All the more important are our social networks outside the family: friends, relatives, babysitters who can help other mothers and fathers get their much-needed breaks. Which people could we perhaps also help right now?

Focus on the positive

The crisis affects some more severely than others and yet it affects all of us. Our negative feelings, fears and worries are justified and may be expressed. What helps us to move forward with a positive spirit is focusing on the beautiful things. What can we take from the current situation, what opportunities present themselves, and what nice thing happened today or yesterday that we like to think about? Our thoughts largely determine our mood. Let us also consciously think about what makes us feel positive.

Healthy children's emotional well-being

What helps our children

As parents we have one big goal in everything we do: that our family is well. And although we know our children like no one else, there are situations in which we ourselves are not sure what they need most at the moment. A state of emergency like Corona presents us all with new challenges that also bring uncertainties. And we repeatedly ask ourselves how our children will experience all this and remember it. What can we concretely do now to be there for our children and guide them as best as possible through this new everyday life?

Create structure

Especially in times of great uncertainty, structure within the family daily routine is particularly soothing. Daily and weekly schedules bring stability to the new reality and can already be discussed with the littlest ones or recorded in pictures. A shared plan that everyone can stick to brings calm and also gives our children the security of knowing what comes next.

Schedule free play time

There needs to be set times for work and homework, and likewise for free play. Because as important as relaxation time is for adults, playtime is for children. During free play without instructions and tasks, even the very young can relax particularly well, process experiences and gather calm and energy for the next items on the agenda.

Talk, talk, talk

Open conversations are good not only for adults; they also help children reflect on their own experiences and understand their environment better. Time for real conversations is therefore as valuable in the family plan as eating together, playing and cuddling. We all know this ourselves after all: attentive listening and looking is often the very best support.

Interview with Christine Brockard:

How can we make the new everyday life as stress-free as possible for our children?

Take the pressure off! Especially small children react very sensitively to stress and pressure. We cannot simply return to our old normality and carry on as before; everyday life does not function as it did before Corona. We must now slow the pace and give ourselves time. Our children have a lot to cope with now; they have to repeatedly learn new rules, partly find their groups and classes again, they have to relearn how to play, get used to life in large groups. As parents we need a lot of patience and indulgence, calmness and understanding now, also for our children's anger and confusion. For it's a lot that they must achieve and internalize now.

What can we as parents do now to get through the new everyday life well?

Self-care and inner work with oneself are extremely important. I must keep a clear head, be able to set boundaries sometimes, be able to say stop sometimes and have time for myself. It is important that parents, despite the many tasks and organization, also create free spaces for themselves occasionally. For example by designating time-out spaces to which they can retreat, setting fixed times in which they are not to be disturbed. Only if we allow ourselves this are we as parents strong enough again to be there for our family.

What do you advise parents who sometimes feel overwhelmed by the situation?

Accept feeling overwhelmed! It's okay to have worry, to be afraid, to be angry, to not know how things will go on, how to cope with everything. I need a certain self-compassion to take on these tasks as positive challenges. That means I must accept that it can be hard sometimes; I must take time to take care of myself so that I can be even stronger for my children. It is so important right now and we hear it so often, but we live it far too rarely: When we parents are well, our children are well too.

Christine Brockard is a developmental counselor for parents with babies and toddlers. In her Bamberg practice she supports families in gaining a relaxed approach to the challenges of everyday life and shaping a harmonious coexistence.

Image credits

Mother takes a nap next to her baby © Jacob Lund - stock.adobe.com

Woman in loungewear looks through the kitchen window while drinking a cup of coffee in the morning © pressmaster - stock.adobe.com

Mother lifts her baby with her legs © Jacob Lund - stock.adobe.com