How are you? Talking with children about feelings
Happy, surprised, anxious, angry and everything in between. Children experience feelings intensely and impulsively, but at first they don’t yet know how to identify them. They throw themselves on the floor when their will isn’t enforced, jump excitedly around the room when Grandma and Grandpa visit, or hide under the covers after a bad dream. When parents talk with children about feelings, the little ones learn to put their emotions into words. That, in turn, is important for expressing themselves and coping with their feelings. However, it isn’t always easy to talk about feelings, because you can’t touch or show them. No one can look into another person’s head and know exactly how they’re feeling. We’ll tell you why it’s important to talk with children about feelings and how it can become a little easier.
Talking with children about feelings – Why is this important?
Recognizing feelings: IYour child feels from the very beginning. As long as it cannot yet speak, it expresses its feelings through gestures and facial expressions. Here too you can already name the corresponding feelings for it so that it gradually incorporates them into its vocabulary. When it learns to express itself with words, it can, over time, better name its feelings and ask for help in unpleasant situations.
Self-awareness: Knowledge about oneself includes being able to recognize one's own feelings and deal with them. This is how your child explores their character. Additionally, self-knowledge later helps to assess other people and their feelings.
Empathy: Only those who know what joy, sadness and fear are can also recognize them in others. If your child can put themselves in others' shoes, it becomes easier for them to anticipate certain situations and, if necessary, avoid them. For example, a playmate will not become sad because their toy is taken away.
Reflection: When talking about feelings, your child notices how they came about. This way, they learn the triggers of their feelings and know, for example, that they become happy when they play with their friend or that they get scared when they had a bad dream. This helps them avoid unpleasant feelings and repeat positive experiences.
Recognizing feelings: Your child feels from the very beginning. As long as it cannot yet speak, it expresses its feelings through gestures and facial expressions. Here too you can already name the corresponding feelings for it so that it gradually incorporates them into its vocabulary. When it learns to express itself with words, over time it can better name its feelings and ask for help in unpleasant situations.
Fear, Anger & Sadness: Negative feelings are part of it
Children experience the full range of feelings and usually express them immediately. Your child doesn't care whether you are standing at the supermarket checkout and they throw themselves on the floor in a fit of anger because the small toy wasn't allowed into the shopping cart. For you, this situation is probably extremely unpleasant. But negative feelings are part of it too. Your child must learn that anger is equal in value to joy and surprise. If a feeling is tabooed and suppressed in the family, your child cannot learn to cope with it. Sadness and fear are also often suppressed or attempted to be avoided by parents. That is understandable, because no one wants their child to suffer. However, these feelings are part of life. If your child learns early on that it's okay to be sad or afraid, they learn to cope with it better and are not ashamed to express the feelings. That way, they can also better ask for help later in emotionally difficult situations.
Talking with children about feelings – How to make it easier
