Healthy Sleep - Tips for Parents

Why is good sleep so important for children?

Sleep quality matters: Of course, adequate sleep is fundamentally important not only for children but for people of all ages. For children, however, sleep has special significance because they are in the midst of physical development. And: It's not only the duration but also the type of sleep that matters.

Growth during deep sleep: Night sleep follows a repeating pattern of light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (dream) sleep phases. During deep sleep, the body is deeply relaxed and all metabolic processes are slowed down. Now the body regenerates and in children it also grows. Lack of sleep or frequent disturbances of the deep sleep phase can even trigger growth disorders.

Sleep makes you smart: During sleep, what has been learned and experienced is processed. Sleep researchers assume that the brain links what was learned during sleep with existing knowledge and thus consolidates it. For this reason too, good sleep is so important for physical and mental development.

Sleep keeps you healthy: Children who sleep enough are better protected against infections, because the immune system has enough time to regenerate and strengthen. In addition, the body's defenses work at full capacity at night, when many functions are shut down, and can target pathogens.

Bedtime: At what age should children go to bed?

Bedtime is the bone of contention in many families: while younger children react with protesting cries or refuse to fall asleep, older ones begin to beg or negotiate: "Just ten more minutes!" But when is the right bedtime for children and how much sleep do children need at different ages? There is no standard answer to this question: the right approach is usually a compromise between what your child needs and what best fits family life:

One- to three-year-olds need around 12 hours of sleep daily, three- to six-year-olds about an hour less. Depending on when your child has to get up and whether they take a nap, you can calculate the right bedtime accordingly.
Important is the sleep before three a.m. – up to then the body regenerates and releases growth hormones. Very late bedtimes therefore cannot necessarily be compensated by sleeping in for a long time.
Too much sleep makes children listless and sluggish – with too little sleep, many children, by the way, do not appear tired but are very active and almost hyperactive.
Regardless of when your child goes to bed, bedtime should vary as little as possible so that the sleep-wake rhythm remains regular.

"I'm not tired yet!" - When children don't want to fall asleep

Battle over falling asleep: Brushing teeth, reading aloud, a bit more cuddling and then off to bed. But the child is awake and stays awake. If you leave the room, they get up or start calling. You actually still have a hundred things to do or are simply looking forward to your own bed. But first the nightly battle to fall asleep has to be fought.

Difficulty falling asleep: This or something similar happens in many families. There are children who vehemently resist going to bed and those who dutifully go to bed but cannot fall asleep. The reasons for difficulties falling asleep are varied – perhaps it's the stimuli and experiences of the day that are spinning in the child's head, perhaps they are troubled by vague fears, possibly the nap was too long or the child is so overtired that they cannot calm down.

Patience and calm help: Regular bedtimes, an orderly, quiet sleeping environment and loving bedtime rituals help with falling asleep. Enough exercise in the fresh air also makes one tired. But most importantly, don't lose patience if your child cannot or does not want to fall asleep: don't assume bad intent, but look together for ways to calm down.

Here you can find more about children's difficulties falling asleep.

Had a bad dream - How can parents help with nightmares?

Occasional nightmares are normal: Almost all children occasionally have bad dreams - usually it's a sign that they are processing experiences or dealing with their fears in sleep.

Always respond: If a child cries and calls out at night, you should always respond, go to their bed and comfort them. This lets them know they are "safe" and helps them calm down faster after a nightmare.

Nighttime helpers: A nightlight and a favorite cuddly toy are familiar comforts that can bring your child back to reality after a nightmare.

Avoid overstimulation before bedtime: Strong impressions or wild roughhousing before bedtime can promote nightmares because the mind no longer has the chance to process what happened while awake. So it's better to skip TV, computer and rough play in the evening.

Reassure: Take your child's fears seriously, whether it's fear of monsters or ghosts or of the nightmare itself. Sometimes a dreamcatcher, a homemade monster weapon or a spray bottle labeled "dream spray" for good dreams can help.

Night terror as an extreme form: Persistent night screaming without really waking up is not a nightmare but a special sleep disorder that occurs occasionally in 2-6-year-olds. Night terrors (pavor nocturnus) are disturbing for parents but harmless and usually pass quickly.

Find out more about nightmares and how parents can deal with them here

Why does my child wet the bed at night?

No more diapers at last! For many parents it's a milestone when their child becomes dry. The transition usually doesn't work immediately at night; especially in the early period after toilet training children relatively often wet the bed at night. This is because the brain does not recognize bladder signals fast enough during deep sleep: the child only wakes up when the bed is already wet. If a child has particularly deep sleep, there can still be night accidents even if they have been dry during the day for a long time.

Facts about bedwetting:

The technical term for regular bedwetting without obvious organic causes is enuresis nocturna.
A diagnosis of enuresis is only made from the age of five onwards – before that, bedwetting is relatively normal in children and not a cause for concern.
A distinction is made between primary enuresis, when a child has never been completely dry, and secondary enuresis, when a child begins bedwetting again after more than six months.
Boys are affected by bedwetting about twice as often as girls. In most cases, bedwetting resolves on its own.
The less fuss parents make about the little "accidents", the sooner the child will have dry nights.

Other reasons for bedwetting:

In rare cases, bedwetting in children has an organic cause, for example triggered by an illness. The pediatrician can most likely tell whether this possibility exists for your child and whether treatment is necessary.

Especially in older children or with a sudden recurrence of bedwetting, psychological stresses can be the cause, triggered for example by stress, conflicts at school or in the family, or an overload of your child. Here too you should ask the pediatrician for help to clarify possible causes and, if necessary, to obtain a referral to a specialist.

Here you can learn how, as parents, to best respond to bedwetting and how to support your child in becoming dry.

Does my child need a nap?

For most adults, a relaxed nap after eating is a great idea. But children are not always enthusiastic about the idea of lying down for a midday nap. Experts and sleep researchers agree that naps are good for toddlers and support their development – but up to what age should children nap at midday? In general, the midday hour is recommended for children up to the age of four. Especially with the start of kindergarten and the many new impressions that come with it, many children have an increased need to take a little break in the afternoon. On the other hand, you should not force your child to sleep if they do not want to: perhaps you can introduce a quiet time instead, during which they occupy themselves quietly or withdraw to their cuddle corner. Children's need for sleep is individual – some stop napping already at two years old, others still like to take a nap during primary school.