When are table rules important for children?

Babies:

Von einem Baby, das gerade die erste Beikost bekommt, könnt ihr noch keine Tischmanieren erwarten und müsst es auch nicht. Trotzdem könnt ihr hier schon gewisse Grundsteine legen. Wenn gegessen werden soll, beugt jeglicher Ablenkungen vor: räumt Bilderbücher weg, schaltet Musik und Fernsehen aus und schaut nicht auf euer Handy.

Toddlers:

Ab etwa einem Jahr will euer Kind wahrscheinlich schon vieles selbst machen. Wenn es das erste Mal nach dem Löffel greift, anstatt die Finger in den Brei zu stecken, könnt ihr es auch ab und zu mit seinem eigenen Löffel essen lassen. Bleibt geduldig, am Anfang wird noch viel daneben gehen und ihr müsst wahrscheinlich irgendwann übernehmen, damit genug Essen im Mund landet. Mit ca. zwei Jahren kann euer Kind bereits besser alleine essen und auch schon warten, bis alle am Tisch sitzen, bevor es mit dem Essen anfängt.

From about 3 years:

Gradually you can introduce more table manners now and insist that your child follows them. However, children often forget the rules at first. The only help is to remain patient and calm, remind them more often and praise them when your child has done something right.

Table manners for children

• Wash hands before and after eating

• Wipe the mouth after eating

• Smacking, burping, and picking your nose are unappetizing and taboo

• During meals, cars, coloring books and other toys do not belong on the table

• Food is not thrown around, spread on the table or smeared

• Sit up straight, both hands on the table and elbows off the table

• Do not speak with a full mouth

• Saying 'please' and 'thank you' is polite and shows respect towards others

• Start eating together and stay seated until everyone is finished. Toddlers may ask if they may get up when they are full before the parents.

• Only put as much on the plate as you can eat. A second helping is always allowed.

• You do not have to finish everything.

Together at the dining table – this is the easiest way

Even if everyone is busy and things are hectic, find at least once a day the time to sit and eat together with the whole family. Take the opportunity and put the phone aside to fully focus on your meal. Meanwhile, family members can talk about their day, tell funny stories and enjoy time together. In company every meal tastes much better and your child can learn table manners from you.

Tips for relaxed meals – How your child learns table manners playfully

Small games for motivation: Wer isst am saubersten? Eröffnet einen kleinen Wettbewerb, wer beim Essen am wenigsten kleckert. Der Gewinner darf das Gericht für den nächsten Tag bestimmen. Eine andere Möglichkeit, euer Kind zum Einhalten der Regeln anzuspornen, ist, es zum Tischchef zu machen, der Eltern und ältere Geschwister auf Fehler in den Tischmanieren hinweisen darf.

Explain the rules: Licking the knife can cut the tongue. Rocking the chair can make it fall and someone can get hurt. If you explain the reasons for the table rules to your children, it's easier for them to understand them.

Praise instead of scolding: Whoever is always only told what they do wrong will eventually lose interest in eating. Instead, praise your child generously when they do something right. That gives pride and a real boost of motivation.

Exceptions are allowed: Als Erwachsene sind die Tischmanieren schon so verinnerlicht, dass man gar nicht mehr darüber nachdenkt. Für Kinder ist das Lernen aber ganz schön anstrengend. Bis etwa zum vierten Geburtstag ist es also noch erlaubt, mal einen Tag ohne Besteck einzulegen oder auch mal gemütlich auf dem Sofa zu essen.

Be patient: Table manners don't come overnight and after the tenth reminder you may start to feel like a preacher. Stay consistent but relaxed when your child doesn't manage eating with knife and fork sometimes or rests their elbows on the table.

Be a role model: Pay attention to whether you also follow all the table manners you want to teach your child. Only then can they learn best and will be motivated to stick to the table manners.

Image credits

Girl with braid, licking the rim of a bowl © troyanphoto - stock.adobe.com

Family sitting together at a set dining table © Krakenimages.com - stock.adobe.com

haba_table-manners_03_AdobeStock_509424063.jpg (Linas T - stock.adobe.com

Boy has a butter crescent at his mouth, sitting at the dining table © Halfpoint - stock.adobe.com

Child eats spaghetti from the plate with fingers and a fork © Tomsickova - stock.adobe.com

Boy eats spaghetti with his hands from the plate © Tatyana A. - tataks - stock.adobe.com