Organizational matters: What do I need to think about now?

• Off to the doctor: He will issue your maternity record and, if applicable, a certificate for your employer

• Inform health insurance, to arrange maternity pay and health insurance for your baby

• Family and friends let them know

• Employer (if unemployed: employment agency) inform

• Avoid risks: This applies to diet as well as to dangerous sports and extreme stress situations

• Midwife search for one for birth support and postnatal care

• Hospital or birth center choose and register

• Find a pediatrician – at the latest for the U3 (about 6 weeks after birth)

• Plan the nursery: Will a home remodel/renovation be needed?

• Initial supplies get for the baby

• Maternity pay apply for

• Prepare applications: Child benefit, parental allowance, and, if applicable, applications for grants

• Official procedures, e.g., recognition of paternity and joint custody for unmarried couples

Can I do it? Fears and doubts during pregnancy

Emotional rollercoaster:

During pregnancy emotions sometimes run on a rollercoaster. You were just stroking your belly full of anticipation and thinking about your baby, and suddenly the worries come:

• How will I manage the birth?

• What if I'm not a good mother?

Pregnancy changes your whole previous life. Uncertainty is therefore completely normal, even if doubts sometimes keep you awake at night.

Is my baby healthy?

The health of your baby is the greatest concern for many women. Genetic defects or illnesses cannot be completely ruled out even with the most advanced medicine; there always remains a small uncertainty. Actively confronting this thought and allowing the possibility that your baby may have health problems is an important process. Many women find it helpful to talk about it with their partner, the midwife, or their best friend.

Will I be a good mother?

Nature helps at the start by adjusting a woman's hormonal balance during birth through a massive release of oxytocin, which completely primes her for loving and caring. The rest comes with time, because every woman has to gradually grow into her role as a mother. It is impossible to say in advance what you will be like as a mother. One thing is certain: no mother is perfect.

Do I have to completely overhaul my life now?

Some things are off the table for now: the evening glass of wine, a cigarette break, or sushi for dinner. Also, partying nights, exotic long-distance trips, or sweat-inducing workouts will probably be much less frequent for the time being. Some women struggle with their changed life situation during pregnancy and worry that they have to 'sacrifice' their old life. In fact, a lot will change, but nothing forever. This thought can help soothe doubts during pregnancy.

Unplanned pregnancy – what do I do now?

What do I want – for myself and for my child?

Not always is a positive pregnancy test a reason to celebrate. When a baby is unplanned, the confirmation of the pregnancy quickly throws the expectant mother into deep uncertainty:

• Am I ready to be a mother?

• Is the baby's father a partner with whom I can raise my baby together?

• Can or do I want to base my whole future life plan on a child?

Of course, there is no "perfect" time for a baby anyway, but pregnancy requires you to clearly express your priorities and those of your partner and possibly to defend them.

Don't face the decision alone:

Hardly any woman takes the decision for or against a baby lightly. Sometimes the circumstances clearly argue against the child. For example, when health risks exist or when a woman is not able to care for her child. But even under better conditions many women doubt whether a baby is the right choice at this time. It is important that you do not face the decision alone: talk with your doctor, with a counseling center like proFamilia or with trusted people. Allow yourselves to go through all available options — that can help you find out what you want.

Image credits

Woman holding a pregnancy test in her hands © pressmaster - stock.adobe.com

Woman has sticky notes with question marks on her stomach © Prostock-studio - stock.adobe.com