Organizational matters: What do I need to think about now?

• Off to the doctor: He issues your maternity record and, if applicable, a certificate for your employer

• Inform your health insurance provider, to arrange maternity allowance and health insurance for your baby

• Family and friends tell them

• Employer (for the unemployed: Employment Agency) inform

• Avoid risks: This applies to your diet as well as to dangerous sports and extreme stress situations

• Midwife to find one for birth support and postpartum care

• Hospital or birthing center choose and register

• Find a pediatrician – at the latest for the U3 (about 6 weeks after birth)

• Plan the nursery: Will a home conversion/renovation be necessary?

• Initial equipment get for the baby

• Maternity allowance apply for

• Prepare applications: child benefit, parental allowance, and, if applicable, applications for grants

• Visits to authorities, e.g. acknowledgment of paternity and joint custody for unmarried couples

Can I do it? Fears and doubts during pregnancy

A rollercoaster of emotions:

During pregnancy emotions sometimes go on a rollercoaster. One moment you've been stroking your belly in eager anticipation and thinking of your baby, and suddenly the worries come:

• How will I manage the birth?

• What if I'm not a good mother?

Pregnancy changes your whole previous life. Feeling unsettled is therefore completely normal, even if doubts sometimes rob you of sleep.

Is my baby healthy?

The health of your baby is the greatest concern for many women. Even with the most advanced medicine, genetic defects or illnesses cannot be completely ruled out; there always remains a small uncertainty. Actively confronting this thought and allowing for the possibility that your baby may have health problems is an important process. Many women find it helpful to talk about this with their partner, the midwife, or their best friend.

Will I be a good mother?

Nature starts the process by adjusting a woman's hormonal balance through a massive release of oxytocin during birth, completely tuning her to love and care. The rest comes with time, because every woman gradually grows into her role as a mother. It is impossible to say beforehand what you will be like as a mother. One thing is certain: no mother is perfect.

Do I have to completely uproot my life now?

Some things are over for now: the evening glass of wine, the cigarette break, or sushi for dinner. All-night parties, exotic long-distance trips, or sweat-inducing workouts will probably become much less frequent for now. Some women struggle with their changed life situation during pregnancy and worry that they will have to „sacrifice" their old life. In fact, many things will change, but nothing forever. This thought can help soothe doubts during pregnancy.

Unplanned pregnancy – what do I do now?

What do I want – for myself and for my child?

Not every positive pregnancy test is a reason to celebrate. When a baby is unplanned, the confirmation of the pregnancy can quickly plunge the expectant mother into deep uncertainty:

• Am I ready to be a mother?

• Is the child's father a partner with whom I can raise my baby together?

• Can or do I want to base my entire future life planning on a child?

Sure, there is no 'perfect' time for a baby anyway, but pregnancy requires clearly formulating one's priorities and those of one's partner and possibly defending them.

Don't face the decision alone:

Hardly any woman takes the decision for or against a baby lightly. Sometimes the circumstances clearly argue against the child. For example, if there are health risks or if a woman is not able to care for her child. But even under better conditions, many women doubt whether a baby is the right choice at this time. It is important that you do not face the decision alone: talk to your doctor, to a counselling centre like proFamilia, or to trusted people. Allow yourselves to play through all the available options – that can help you find out what you want.

Image credits

Woman holds a pregnancy test in her hands © pressmaster - stock.adobe.com

Woman has sticky notes with question marks on her belly © Prostock-studio - stock.adobe.com